Transformer
My relationship with Loki began through what Buxton (2015, pp 99–104) describes as transformative learning – when I became aware of his presence in my life, my entire worldview shifted.
Up until that point, I was a seeking agnostic with a strong theoretical interest in spirituality, for example through Theosophy. However, I did not have an active belief or spiritual practice. What I had instead were theoretical explanations and metaphysical models that were elegant, structured, and logical. I primarily understood the divine as something distant and abstract. I viewed polytheism in a very “soft” way – as different gods being symbolic or pedagogical aspects of a larger, unified divine whole. I also believed that all religions were fundamentally the same, differing only on the surface.
Then Loki entered my life, which is a story in itself. For the purpose of this reflection, it is enough to say that I experienced his presence as so tangible and real that I could not explain it away. He contradicted everything I had previously learned – he was concrete and specific. Most importantly, he appeared as an independent entity rather than a symbolic construct. All my neat, logical models collapsed.
Through Loki, I was opened to polytheism, animism, and Norse paganism – an entirely new way of relating to the world. I have become more metacognitive, more aware of complex systems, more self-reflective, and better at practicing radical acceptance as a starting point. These developments are not always comfortable or easy, but they are meaningful. I have also become more humble in relation to differences between traditions, and more aware that we cannot force them into the same framework by erasing cultural distinctions or interpreting others’ spiritual paths through our own lens.
I chose this example because it illustrates how Loki quite literally overturned my worldview and shattered my previous models.
I came to these conclusions through direct experience rather than theoretical reasoning. The shift was not something I arrived at intellectually first, but something that emerged through lived experience and reflection over time. The consistency of these experiences, and the way they have continued to shape my perception, behavior, and practice, is what makes these conclusions feel meaningful and valid to me. Rather than fitting my experiences into pre-existing models, I have allowed the experiences themselves to reshape my understanding, which aligns with my current approach to practice.
Sources
Buxton, M. (2015) Tricksters, Technology, and Spirit. Auckland University of Technology.